Who is Nicky?

I’ve thought a lot about how to introduce myself, whether to mention that I’m a trans woman with autism, whether to mention that I’ve worked in tech for 16 years, whether to mention all the things I’ve done and tried.

The truth is, I can’t decide, so I’m going to tell a bit of everything, mostly to provide context for what I write, and as a starting point for how my views change while I do it.

Trans and autistic, or autistic and trans

My life is shaped by two identities: being a trans woman and being an autistic person.

This mix of identities has molded and continues to mold how I live, think, and feel. It’s impossible for me not to question gender rules, to flinch at the assumptions of neurotypical people make, and an endless number of details that, from my perspective, are absurd.

I could talk for hours about my experiences, but there are things I prefer to keep to myself, and others I’d rather tell with more context than I can provide in an introductory post.

My philosophy, my politics, my magic

Like anyone who has a blog, I have too many opinions. This section is an attempt to synthesize my vision on what I consider the great areas of life:

First and foremost: I'm atheist. I don't believe in any god, goddess, deity, or cosmic entity. Even so, I believe there is too much that we don't understand as human beings, and I feel that we should stop making up explanations and start accepting the unknown and marveling at the infinite. Seek scientific explanations, but understanding that reaching a "single truth" is impossible.

Politically, a TL;DR would be: communism for basic needs, capitalism up to the first billion, guillotine from there on up. Without going on too much, I think that current political divisions end up denying the experience of others. There are people who want to do the bare minimum and just exist, and others who want to have the world. We must seek political systems that allow both to coexist.

Regarding magic, I don't believe in the supernatural, but I do believe there is magic in understanding the "natural" universe. We are animals that evolved from single-celled organisms. 25% of the species on Earth are beetles, and if they didn't exist, we would die surrounded by excrement. I wrote this post on a computer, a device that powered by loose electrons in a cable that energize a block of materials printed with light. Our very existence is magic; I like to recognize it as such, something so unique, so strange that it sounds impossible; monkeys in clothes shooting rockets into space. It's magical.

Why this blog?

I decided to write thanks to a friend. I never did it before because I thought I had to reach thousands of people for it to be worth it. But she told me: "I’m going to read it, and it will matter to me." And I think that’s enough. If what I write makes one person think a little more, that’s enough for me.

I write for that reason, not to make anyone think like me, but to make these thoughts known, and to hopefully transform whoever reads this words, however it may transform them. I hope it’s for the better, but I want to warn anyone that I take no responsibility for side effects that occur from said changes.